No matter who you are, or what you do, there are certain absolutes in life. One of them, is that you are going to need to visit the restroom, at least a couple of times each day (and possibly quite a few if you enjoy Chipotle). In the past, you might have been forced to waste this time with something as mundane as thinking, but luckily we don’t live in such dark ages any more. With your smartphone in hand, a trip to the bathroom is no longer the inconvenient necessity of peristalitic progress – it’s a welcome 10 minute vacation of solitude. Make the most of your precious bathroom moments with the Top 4 Best Game Apps to play on the toilet!
1. Plague Inc
There are those days when humanity as a whole just seems to be letting you down. Getting cut off in traffic… being asked to work the weekend… or even the occasional fart in the elevator can really make you simmer with loathing for your fellow man. It’s at these times that a few bathroom moments spent playing Plague Inc can really brighten your day. Plague Inc places you in the role of a pathogen trying to wipe out humanity. If you don’t feel inspired, just spend five minutes reading YouTube comments and you’ll be full of motivation.
Plague Inc hooks you with the basics of fun simulation gameplay – well polished icons describe everything from your pathogens attributes to the types of diseases you can unleash, and an active global map hums with boats and planes until your contagion begins to stain it with the red of infection and the black of death. You’ll keep playing it for the novel disease types and challenges, and the vendettas of previous matches where you came so close but those pesky humans managed to find a cure. If long games find you throning it in the company bathroom, remember to wash your hands and avoid real plagues when you are done.
IfAngry Birds has taught us anything, its that throwing random animals is fun. AB opened they eyes of the young mobile game world to the joys of tap physics, but Fish out of Water is great proof that the field is still ripe for innovation. FooW challenges you take a wide variety of fish you’ve just met, pick three of them, and throw them as far as you can. After each throw, a group of judges rate it based on your performance and adjust for factory like the weather and how bad of a mood they are in. Layered on top of this are Challenges, mix and match Boosts, changing weather events, and League competitions. After just a few tosses, you’ll have the basics of the game down, but the all the extras will keep you coming back to beat Challenges, your friends, or even just your personal bests. Since a single toss only takes a few seconds, you can get a whole game finished easily in a visit to the throne room, even if you are very efficient with your business.
If you are as old as me, there has surely been a time or two when trips to the bathroom took a while. For one reason or another, you find yourself throning – and these occasions call for a game so epically long, you can basically never finish it. Since you have a lot of time on your hands, it doesn’t matter that much if the game is abusively difficult, even to the point where some, such as my pal agent86ix, might even say it hates you. What is important, is that you can keep playing it… keep obsessively matching candies… keep puzzling out combos… keep… Crushing… Yes, in my opinion Candy Crush Saga is one of the hall of famers when it comes to long visits to the water closet. Nearly unlimited levels, abusive random chance, and a minefield of freemium tropes sounds horrifying on paper, but once it sets the hook you’ll be Crushing away every chance you get, and stifling back cheers when you finally beat those most hated of all levels.
4. Temple Run
Something that a lot of young folks may not appreciate, is that there were games before the App Store. That’s right my young friends, while I did survive a prehistoric age where people were forced to read the newspaper in their outhouse – or worse, just think about things, I had played a video game or two before I’d ever swiped my first App. The elegant simplicity of games like Temple Run do not seem wholly new to me, but in this format, on these small devices, they really do just seem to work. Capitalizing on the early success, various updates to the Temple Run franchise have been released which you can also check out, but they all feature the same run-turn-slide-jump gameplay, and the particular variant you choose is likely more a function of aesthetics or the IP veneer it has been skinned with. Pretty much any version is a great fit for a trip to drop the kids off at the lake. Its simple, mindless, quick, and infinitely replayable. Failure is a constant – but with frequent comic relief from either the trees you mash your pretty face into or the mutant gorilla things that want to eat your pretty face. Either way your virtual face takes a lot of punishment, but you’ll be running again in seconds flat! And running… and running… and running…
Is there a game you love to take with you on a brown study that we missed in our Best Game Apps list? Leave a comment and tell us about it!